At the end of the day, when my baby is exhausted… 🙂 and is ready to hit the hay.. he cries. He cries so much, that there is nothing that calms him down. Especially when I am not around. I have tried n tested my peekaboo antics, and noticed how his eyes are constantly searching for a glimpse of… me?… I’m still in awe of and still getting accustomed to this – as the most beautiful feeling I’ve come across… and it is when I hold him close, his head nested in the warmth of my arm, when I hug him tight and rock him with “La ilaaha illAllah” to sleep… that I realize how I want to protect my baby from all the worries and evil of this dunya. That’s also when it hits me what this unrest I constantly feel is all about.. I felt safe… when mumma was there… I felt safe in the warmth of her hugs… I felt an instant calm of my exploding nerves when I was anxious about something… anything.. only she could make me be… okay…

N today… no matter how much I cry.. no matter how much I scream or worry or be angry or anxious or afraid… there is no way any of that is going away… coz the only person who could make it all okay is no more…

I miss mumma so much…
There is no1 in the entire universe like her. Love her so much… and can’t wait to be with her… ♡♡

May Allah subhanahu wa ta’alaah bless her soul, forgive her, and grant her amongst the highest of darjaats in Jannat ul Firdous, aameen. May He keep us together in Jannat ul Firdous, aameen. May He make us and our children a continuous source of Sadqa e Jaariah for her, in shaa Allah ta’alaah & aameen, summa ameen, ya rabbul a’alameen.